As my eyesight fades, my brain becomes increasingly puzzled by what I think I’m seeing.Â Looking at the departures board at Euston for details of my train to Manchester the other day, I thought it said “Toilet restrictions will apply on this train.”Â I pondered for some time on the nature of these restrictions before I realised that it said “Ticket restrictions.”
Today, on the tube, I found myself opposite an ad in the Windows 7 campaign that I wrote about recently.Â It showed a girl in a fashionably distressed urban environment, with a headline in inverted commas that seemed to tell us she was saying:Â “I asked for fewer dicks. Now it takes fewer dicks. I’ve never been so influential.”Â IÂ pondered for some time on the nature of these dicks before I realised….well, you’re ahead of me.
Although they are, of course, a regrettable symptom of the ageing process, I’m quite enjoying these visualÂ malapropisms, andÂ I wonder what’ll be next.Â Must be about time for a new movie from CLINT EASTWOOD.Â